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From the home office in Tampa, Florida, here’s the Top Ten United Nations selling points….

10. If an impotent, bloated bureaucracy can’t solve it, it’s best left festering.

09. You can’t spell “UNethical” without U.N.

08. Genocidal dictators, BEWARE our non-binding resolutions.

07. Bringing peace to our World (Actual results may vary).

06. Tomorrow’s corruption, Today.

05. Raising pointless squabbling to an artform.

04. We take bribes so you don’t have to.

03. Try our World famous cheesy fries.

02. If trouble abounds, we’ll be nearby, doing nothing.

And . . .

01. If this is an actual emergency, please hang up and dial America.

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