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The following was submitted by Kevin Crosby. He is a software engineer, conservative, and independent contributor to His opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the administration of He can be reached at [email protected]

I read this on Stossel’s blog this morning and thought it was a good idea to pass this on to all of you good folks.

Now here is another example of why the government is so adept at helping us all live better lives.
“New Environmental Protection Agency regulations treat spilled milk like oil, requiring farmers to build extra storage tanks and form emergency spill plans. …”


I was worried that you might miss it and I was just sure that you would want to be informed of such important new rules as this surly is. I get such a warm and fuzzy feeling just knowing that we have some of the best and the brightest minds working for us in our government making sure that ours lives are safe and secure. Ya, right!

These are some of the same morons that have consistently proven their incompetence with the BP oil spill and just to prove that they are still incompetent, they have in another flash of brilliance demanded that farmers develop an emergency plan for spilled milk. Funny, it never occurred to me how dangerous it would be to spill 30 gallons of milk down on the farm. And what’s more, it still doesn’t!

Just to show that my heart’s in the right place, I have spent a couple of hours putting together a strong and comprehensive plan for the farmers to use in case of a milk spill:

1. Go to the neighbors farms and borrow their cats.

OK, that should about cover it. I think we are all safe now. I bet that is a load off your mind. I wonder if I’m going to get an award from the department of agriculture for this. If there is a ceremony, I will be inviting all of you to come and watch. OK?

Oh, by the way, this same group of meat heads are going to be involved in the presidents attack on deficit spending. The most recent rumor on the subject, which I’m starting right here, is that all federal employee’s will be limited to one pencil and one eraser per day. The play dough is out but the porno will remain unblocked. I’m telling you what, this looks like a serious austerity program to me.

OK, gotta run. Have a great day, and if you run into any of those people from the Environmental Protection agency, don’t forget to salute with any finger hand you like.

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